This One I Just 'Gotta Write

I didn't want to spoil my Friday going through the "lumilingkis lingkis na pila sa MRT". So I went behind the Standard Chartered parking lot and waited for the Fairview FX. I should've left the moment the barker went at me and yelled, "O ito sexy kakasya yan sa gitna". Grrr...Why do these things always happen to me.

Anyhow, our "fx" got stopped by the MCBD just before we were turning towards Ayala Ave. Kolorum daw kasi. To which the owner vehemently denied. Kapitbahay ko sila...sumabay lang pauwi..she says. The ending was they got a ticket. But how wrong I was..hindi pa pala yun ending. I should've went ahead with the lingkis lingkis na pila sa MRT.

The owner (aka "stage mother") started on a tirade that lasted from Ayala to SM Fairview.

A first hand account of her monologue, delivered 10x (no exag, to my dismay):

Hindi naman talaga ako nagpapasakay eh. Kaibigan ko lang ang mga yan kaya sinabay ko pauwi. Nakakaawa naman kung hindi ko isasabay.

Ayaw nga ng anak ko na magsabay, ako lang ang pumilit sa kanya dahil sabi ko, "anak kawawa naman sila". (Her "anak" was the driver). (As if naman hindi kami nagbayad..ginawa pa kaming kawawa. Lokong witch na 'to!)

Pano kami naging kolorum eh SUPER GRANDIA, ang mahal mahal nitong sasakyan ko? Sa Lunes adalhin ko ang CRV namin at magsasabay ako. Carpool ang tawag doon hindi kolorum! Ang sa akin lang naman, last resort na kung wala na talagang fx, ako na magsasabay. Nakaka-3 text na sa akin si Berting (the bwisit barker) sabi, "mam, magkarga na po tayo". (Magkarga..ano kami, drugs?)

When a passenger asked her how they will get back her son's license, stage momma said: Ako mismo ang kukuha! May kilala kaming general. Kaya nga may PNP sticker kami sa harap, huli na nang makita nang pulis na yan.

At ang climax of the kwento:

Sa akin lang, mga kaibigan ko kayo. Tulungan lang naman diba, tutal malalapit lang ang inuuwian namin.

And then not long after she ends -

Sa SM Fairview ba kayo bababa? 60 kasi ang singil namin, kulang pa kayo ng 10.

People can be so unbelievable....